"Stop forking the wall, son!"
These are the words I heard my husband say to my 2 1/2 year old son. Not something I thought I'd ever thought would be said in my house, and is now on the ever growing list of "Things You Never Thought to Say to a Child" ...and it's quickly becoming Volumes I & II. Look for it on bookshelves in fall 2008.
This particular instance came into light during supper the other night when our youngest, who happens to be high functioning autistic, decided to depart early from the table and begin scraping his fork up and down the wood paneling wall. Which resulted in a "delightful" noise that can only be best described as . . . .annoying and ear-piercing.
The son, giddily looked up at his father, and said "No!! My fawrk!" and then went running down the tiled floor hallway with said fork in hand. Oh yes, this was a great idea.
Hubster takes off down the hallway after the child, muttering along the way about who decided to invent forks for toddlers anyway, and the child is giggling manically and then *SLAM* goes the bathroom door. Thankfully the child has yet to figure out how to lock the door, as you need a key to do it, but that doesn't make it any easier to shove his little 35 pound body away from the door safely.
Well the fork is away from the child and the walls are safe from any further performances. . .for this weekend anyway.
Stay tuned for our next chapter.... "Son, stop licking the cat!! That's gross!!!"